


Inflammation

by LittleSquirt



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Also like happy birthday Kags, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, I do this because I love you I swear, No Manga Spoilers Here, Panic Attacks, Sick Kageyama Tobio, Sickfic, Team Mom Sugawara Koushi, Team as Family, Training Camp, Yamaguchi Tadashi-centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-22
Updated: 2020-12-22
Packaged: 2021-02-26 04:39:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 19,726
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21797752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleSquirt/pseuds/LittleSquirt
Summary: During a training camp in the lead up to Nationals, Tadashi finds himself awake in the middle of the night with an ill team-mate to comfort.
Relationships: Ennoshita Chikara & Yamaguchi Tadashi, Kageyama Tobio & Karasuno Volleyball Club, Kageyama Tobio & Tsukishima Kei, Kageyama Tobio & Yamaguchi Tadashi, Sugawara Koushi & Yamaguchi Tadashi, Tsukishima Kei & Yamaguchi Tadashi, Yamaguchi Tadashi & Karasuno Volleyball Club
Comments: 52
Kudos: 549





	1. Chapter 1

Tadashi had been on a high following their win against Shiratorizawa. All of them had - well aside from Tsukki with his initial moment of self flagellation in the bathroom. But after that, they'd all been in high spirits. They were going to Nationals! And even if it was just as a pinch server, Tadashi was going to be right there with them.

Of course, he should have counted on the hell that was to come.

It made sense, logistically. They had won the prefectural tournament, yes. Did that mean they were the best in the country? Not by a long shot. They'd kept losing to the end at the training camps in Tokyo, so they still needed a lot of practise.

And it. Was. Grueling.

Their morning and afternoon practises increased in length and intensity, and weekend practises were also extended. And as such Tadashi wasn’t surprised when Coach Ukai announced to them one afternoon that the following weekend they would have a full weekend training camp. They hadn't had one since before their win against Shiratorizawa, so they were certainly due one.

They had their usual practise on the Friday morning, and Tadashi couldn’t help but notice that the constant practises must have been getting to the other members of the team because some of them already looked exhausted.

“Kageyama!” Hinata yelled at his partner as they set up for their quick practise. “Do you still have your dumb cold? I don't want to sleep next to you tonight if I risk catching your germs .”

“Tch,” was the response from the setter as he sent up a toss and Hinata scrambled to meet it. “Dumbass. I’m not that sick. ”

“You’ve been sick for ages though!” Hinata accused - though Tadashi could hear the concern in his voice.

“Have not.” Kageyama argued, which was a blatant lie. He had got an awful cold a few weeks ago, though it seemed to have been slowly shaken off over the last few days. Most of the rest of the team had been giving Kageyama a wide berth of space because they didn’t want to risk catching the cold - and also because the cold had made Kageyama more irritable... which was quite the achievement. Though he appeared to be less stuffed up with mucous in this practise, he was even more irritable than usual today.

The school day went far too slowly as Tadashi was so tired from the extensive morning practise. He was slightly dreading the camp that weekend if he was already pretty wiped from the morning. He walked to the shoe lockers with Tsukki when the day finally reached its end. 

“Why do I need to spend even more time with the idiot duo than I need to.” Tsukki lamented as he opened his locker. Tadashi snickered.

“It’s okay Tsukki. If you survived the summer training camps that this weekend should be no problem for you!”

Tsukki nodded in affirmation. “Good point. And at least I don’t have captains from other teams pestering me to block for them… though the King’s humour today more than makes up for that.”

Tadashi sighed. “I hope he’s okay. He's seemed pretty run down the last few weeks. You don‘t think he had a problem in school or something do you?”

Yachi had taken over most of the tutoring for the idiot duo over the past few months, but Tadashi and Tsukki still helped out since getting those two to keep their grades passable was essentially a full time job. And as much as Tsukki would have loved to hand over all the responsibility, he was actually quite fond of Yachi and didn’t want her too stressed out either. Then again, Yachi being stressed was about as typical as Kageyama being irritated. 

They arrived into the club troom to change to, what a surprise, Hinata and Kageyama arguing.

“-you even trying Bakageyama? I mean of course I’ve beaten you before but not by so much, you’re not like, dying or anything are you -”

“Dumbass! You had a false start and you didn’t even beat me by that much -”

When Tadashi glanced over and saw the two arguing, he notice the sheen of perspiration already on Kageyama’s brow. _“Huh,”_ Tadashi thought, _“That’s odd. Kageyama is never usually that tired after he and Hinata race to practise.”_

As it would turn out, it was among one of many red flags he had missed that day.

Practise was their standard affair at first. They had a practise game, red versus white. It was fortunate that there was twelve of them so they could equally split into two teams. Tadashi's team was able to utilise both Nishinoya and Sugawara to their full potential, and beat the white team by far more than usual - which was a first, usually both teams were quite evenly matched. As Coach Ukai, Sugawara and Captain Daichi gathered to talk about something after the practise game, the rest of the team split off for their individual practises. Tadashi focused on his serves as usual. Once he started, the serves felt almost methodical and he completely lost track of time. Tsukki made sure to come and get him in time to go grab some food before bed. The entire evening had passed and Tadashi felt a little foolish that he had only spent time on the one skill. But then again, he was a pinch server afterall.

After washing up before bed, Tadashi and Tsukki decided just to head straight to sleep. Typically, he and Tsukki were among the first to go to bed. Tadashi raised his eyebrows though when he saw Kageyama already asleep in the futon next to his own. Usually he and Hinata were the last to stumble in and collapse of exhaustion after spending hours practising, usually the quick.

Tadashi was also completely exhausted from all the serves he’d done and the day in general, and flopped down on his own futon. He was asleep within moments.

*-*-*-*

Tadashi had a reputation of being one of the heaviest sleepers in Karasuno. It was a fair reputation, he had to admit. He was almost always the last one to be up for breakfast, and even then he hardly made it on time. He had not been surprised to find that Hinata and Nishinoya, who had boundless energy, were morning people at their first overnight training camp. Not that even they woke him in the morning, much to Tsukki’s chagrin. Tsukki hated training camps, especially as it meant having “so many idiots in his personal space when he was supposed to be resting”.

Tadashi could sleep through pretty much anything, which is why it was odd that he woke up in the middle of the night during their weekend training camp.

The first thing Tadashi noticed was that he was sweatier than normal, and a little warmer than usual too. Feeling a little disorientated, he sat up. It took him a few minutes for his eyes to adjust to the dark, and then a few more minutes to remember where he was. Tanaka’s soft snores came from further to the edge of the room. He looked to his right, and saw Tsukki lying ramrod straight on his futon, still fast asleep.

Tadashi assessed himself quickly, frowning. He wasn’t thirsty or hungry, didn’t need to use the restroom, he was only a little uncomfortably warm, so why…?

Beside him, he heard a soft whimper. He turned in surprise.

Kageyama was still curled up as he was earlier, wrapped up in a cocoon. Tadashi blinked in shock. Surely, that noise couldn’t have come from Kageyama? He had seemed like he wasn’t feeling 100% earlier, but…

Against his better judgment - who knows how Kageyama would take to be woken up in the middle of the night - Tadashi crawled closer to Kageyama to investigate. He was facing Tadashi rather than Hinata on the other side, but the blanket was wrapped around him and was almost obscuring his face. 

“Kageyama…?” Tadashi whispered quietly. He pulled the blanket away from Kageyama’s face just a little, to get a better look.

His face was flushed, was the first thing that Tadashi noticed. And sweaty. Tadashi had seen Kageyama play full sets back to back and sweat less than this. Concerned, he lightly pressed the back of his hand to Kageyama’s forehead. His eyes widened at the heat emitting from Kageyama’s skin. He pressed his fingers to just underneath Kageyama’s chin, to find his pulse rate. Kageyama moaned and pulled away at the touch. Tadashi waited a few minutes, and then tried again. Once again, Kageyama moaned and pulled away.

“St’p,” he slurred in annoyance when Tadashi tried for a third time.

“I need to check something, Kageyama.” Tadashi whispered hurriedly. Kageyama babbled a bit in response. Nothing coherent. Tadashi tried one last time, and this time managed to check his carotid artery. As he suspected, it was a little faster than usual. Nothing that called for immediate alarm. And yet….

Something just niggled at Tadashi’s brain. Kageyama was hot. It was difficult to tell how high his temperature was without a thermometer, but it was hot enough to wake up Tadashi by proximity alone. That was surely not a good sign.

He fumbled through his brain to remember anything else from earlier that day. Hinata had been telling Kageyama to stay away from him again, so Kageyama wouldn’t pass on his cold. Hell he’d been complaining about having to sleep next to Kageyama, in case he caught the cold. Maybe the cold had developed into a flu? Looking closer, Tadashi could see that Kageyama was shivering underneath his blankets. Probably from chills, he theorised.

If it was just the flu, there wasn’t much Tadashi could do other than let Kageyama sleep it off. But, if it was something worse -

Tadashi slowly unwrapped Kageyama from his cocoon. Kageyama made a few half hearted noises of protest, but didn’t speak again. This time, Tadashi took one of Kageyama’s hands in his. 

So focused in his task, Tadashi hadn’t noticed the sound of stirring. 

“Y’maguchi? What -”

Tadashi almost dropped Kageyama’s hand at the sound of Ennoshita’s voice. He looked over to see the second year lying on his front, head popping up above his pillow. He blinked in confusion at Tadashi.

Tadashi was taken off guard and the first year took a few moments to try and form any cohesive thoughts.

“I woke up because I was feeling warm I guess… “ he whispered hurriedly. It was bad enough he’d woken Ennoshita up, he’d feel bad if anyone else woke up too. “I noticed Kageyama was - well, he’s -”

Ennoshita sat up silently, and shuffled closer to Tadashi. “Coach Ukai ordered him to go to bed early. Suga thinks he overworked himself, he said he noticed Kageyama massaging his wrists earlier and got the idiot to admit that his wrists were bothering him. Makes sense given all the time he’s spent perfecting that new toss.”

There was silence after that. Then. “Did they say anything about a fever?”

“Fever?” Ennoshita said, moving closer to the first years. He reached out with his fingers and felt at Kageyama’s forehead like Tadashi had before. His eyebrows shot right up. “He’s hot. Really hot. That’s - what -”

Tadashi was still holding Kageyama’s hand, and having been distracted by Ennoshita, only then noticed something that struck him as odd. He frowned. “His hands are cold.”

Ennoshita looked at him in confusion. “What?”

Tadashi gestured to Kageyama’s hand, which he was gently holding in both his own. “His hand is cold.”

His senpai placed his hand on Kageyama’s and froze. “That… that’s weird.”

Tadashi nodded. It was a pretty odd symptom. He placed his fingers on Kageyama’s radial pulse. It was still quite fast. When he spoke it was for Ennoshita’s benefit, as he had known this already. “Pulse is fast.” Ennoshita brushed his fingers against Kageyama’s wrist to feel for himself. 

“That is pretty fast…”

“Hinata said he had a cold. I was wondering could it be the flu?” Tadashi asked.

“It could.” Ennoshita agreed. “But -”

“But.” Tadashi nodded. They were both thinking the same thing. Suga had managed to get Kageyama to admit that his wrists hurt. But Kageyama had once insisted that he could still play a set of volleyball despite the fact that his nose was pumping blood. The odds that someone like that wouldn’t admit when they weren’t feeling very well were - well, high. There was a chance that he had other symptoms he hadn’t shared, other than what Suga had managed to get him to divulge.

There was also the fact that he listened to Coach Ukai and had gone to bed early, as instructed. Either he was afraid he’d be benched if he refused, or he just felt that awful.

“Is he responsive?” Ennoshita asked.

Tadashi paused. “I’m not sure. He kept pulling away when I tried to take his carotid pulse, but hasn’t really said much otherwise.” He kept Kageyama’s hand in one of his own, and lightly brushed his hair back with the other. “Hey, Kageyama. Are you with me?”

Kageyama’s brow furrowed slightly, but given how much the other boy frowned on a daily basis, Tadashi wouldn’t be surprised if that was pure instinct. He gently patted Kageyama’s cheek instead. “Kageyama?”

“What are you two doing.”

Tadashi jolted at the unexpected monotone voice from behind him. He should have expected that all the commotion would have woken someone else, and of course it would be his best friend who was as light a sleeper as Tadashi was a heavy one.

“Kageyama is sick,” Ennoshita explained. “We’re trying to figure out how serious it is -we were just trying to rouse him.”

Tsukki sighed heavily and stood up, walking over to where Tadashi and Ennoshita were leaning over Kageyama. He leant right over and shook Kageyama, more softly than Tadashi expected of him. “Hey, King. Wake up and quit making Yamaguchi and Ennoshita worry.”

Kageyama’s face screwed up a little more, but he gave little reaction to the jostling aside from moaning. Tsukki looked surprised. Ennoshita decided to try as well.

“Kageyama? We need you to wake up okay? Can you just open your eyes?”

Again, Kageyama moaned in response as Ennoshita shook his shoulder. They were getting a little more nervous now. Kageyama was not Tadashi. Even Tadashi wouldn’t have slept through this if it was him.

“Kageyama come on.” Tadashi whispered, afraid of waking anyone else up. Well, anyone who wasn’t Kageyama up. He could still hear Tanaka’s soft snores but he wasn’t sure how long that would last.

“Symptoms?” Tsukki asked in a matter of fact tone.

“High temperature, fast pulse, shivering, cold hands.” Tadashi rattled off. Like Ennoshita had, Tsukki raised his eyebrows at the last symptom. To both Tadashi and Ennoshita’s surprise, he didn’t grab Kageyama’s hand to check for himself. Rather, he walked around Ennoshita and perched by Kageyama’s feet. He then pulled back the blanket and took one of Kageyama’s feet in his hands. He frowned.

Kageyama whined at the blanket being pulled from him. He made to grab at it with uncoordinated movements, and slurred “St’p” again.

“Tsukki, wha-”

“His feet are cold too.” He sat up and reached over to feel Kageyama’s forehead. He grimaced. “His temperature is really high. That’s not good if he’s not responding to us.”

“What should we do?” Tadashi asked his best friend nervously.

Tsukki reached over again, and pulled Kageyama’s covers all the way back this time. Kageyama opened his eyes this time. Just a fraction, before closing them again with a grimace. “St’ppit. ‘M c’ld.”

Tsukki put his hand on Kageyama’s shoulder. “Sorry King, we need to get you to wake up properly before we work ourselves into a panic unnecessarily.”

“D’n… d’n…” Kageyama stopped and paused, licking his lips. His eyes were still closed. “D’n like it.”

“You don’t like what, Kageyama?” Tadashi asked. He was still holding Kageyama’s hand in his own.

“I - I -” he stopped, seemingly at a loss for words. His ever present frown was still there. “C’ld.” 

“Trust me,” Ennoshita said, “You’re not cold. You’re running quite the fever.”

Kageyama licked at his lips again. 

“He might be thirsty,” Ennoshita said quietly. “Hang on one second.”

He got up, and Tadashi could hear quiet rummaging on the other side of the room. Ennoshita returned a few minutes later with a water bottle, most likely from practise earlier. He shuffled closer to Kageyama.

“Kageyama I have some water for you, okay? Will you drink some for me?”

The younger boy didn’t seem to register the question, and without the blanket to cover him, his shivering was far more prevalent.

Taking initiative once again, Tsukki snatched the bottle from Ennoshita, and patted Kageyama’s cheek. “Kageyama,” he began, and Tadashi was shocked, he didn’t think he’d ever heard Tsukki refer to Kageyama by his actual name before. It was always King. “You need to drink. Can you do that?”

Kageyama pressed his face further into his pillow, moaning again. Tsukki patted his cheek again. “Kageyama. Drink.” Before Tadashi could register what was happening, Tsukki turned Kageyama’s head slightly, aimed the bottle into his mouth and squirted some of the water into the other boy’s mouth. Kageyama seemed to swallow on instinct initially, and Tsukki tried to get the other boy to drink as much as possible. He was sweating so much and his lips looked dry; he was probably dehydrated. After a few minutes, Tsukki sat back onto his heels, having gotten about a quarter of the bottle in Kageyama. He felt for a temperature again, while Tadashi felt for a pulse.

Then the retching began.

It was unexpected, to say the least. The three boys reeled back in shock. Tadashi was quickest to react, and tried to rub Kageyama’s back in what he hoped was a soothing motion. 

Naturally, the rest of the boys finally began to stir at the sound of the retching. Some stirred slowly, others almost bolted upright. Tanaka was one of the first to startle awake. Since Hinata had once vomitted right in his lap, Tadashi wondered if that memory had snapped him into action quicker than the rest.

“What’s going on-”

“What time is it -”

“Is everything okay -”

“What are you guys doing -”

The padding of footsteps, and then someone got up and turned on the light.

Under the harsh light, Kageyama looked awful. It emphasized his chalky complexion and flushed cheeks. He continued to retch, before screwing up his face and pressing his head into the pillow. Ennoshita tugged at his shoulder. “Hey, Kageyama don’t do that.”

Kageyama only pressed his face harder into the pillow. At this point, the whole team was beginning to gather behind them, Suga and Daichi forcing their way to the front.

“He wasn’t this bad earlier, Coach told him to lie down because we thought he’d over exerted himself.” Daichi said gravely. 

“We thought he might need some water,” Ennoshita explained. Kageyama started the retch again, this time into his pillow. “We didn’t think he wouldn’t be able to keep it down.”

“Kageyama,” Suga said softly. He gently took Kageyama’s face in his hands and turned the younger boy’s face so he was facing him, “What’s wrong? You’re sick?”

Kageyama groaned and made to turn his head back into the pillow but Suga’s grip stopped him.

“Kageyama.” Suga said again, softly.

“’S br’t. D’n l’k ‘t,” the younger boy mumbled. Suga looked surprised. 

“The light is too bright?” he asked.

Kageyama bobbed his head in what was probably supposed to be a nod. He groaned at the moment as soon as he did it. “H’rts. M’eyes.”

“The light hurts your eyes?” Tsukki said slowly. There seemed to be a lot of weight behind his words. He paused. “Do you have a headache as well? Maybe you feel a bit nauseous.”

There was little hesitation before his answer this time. “Y’h. H’d h’rts”

Tsukki turned to the person closest to the door, who in this case happened to be Narita, and said in a tone that brooked no argument. “Get Mr. Takeda and Coach.” 

To his credit, Narita did not protest at being bossed around by a first year and was out the door like a shot. Tsukki turned back to Kageyama and shook his shoulder gently. “Kageyama, do you ever get migraines?”

Migraines? Well that would explain the dislike of lights and nausea. And why Tsukki would be the one to figure that out, since Tsukki often got really bad migraines. The cold hands and feet still seemed odd though.

Once again, it took a few tries to get Kageyama to give them a coherent answer before he slurred out a “n’ver h’d ‘un”. Tsukki’s face took on a very pinched expression. Once again, he tried to pull Kageyama’s head from the pillow, though the other boy fought as best as he could. Once Kageyama was faced with the lights again, he let out a loud whine. Tadashi felt pain in his own hand, and realised he still was holding Kageyamas. The other boy's grip on his hand was enough to cut off the circulation in Tadashi's own. 

“Kageyama we need to keep an eye on you okay? I know it probably hurts your eyes but we can’t have you choking on your own vomit.”

“Tsukishima…” Hinata’s voice was high and scared. He was hiding behind Tanaka nervously. “Is… is Kageyama okay? You… You’re not calling… Well you know… And…” Though he couldn’t vocalise exactly what it was that was worrying him, they all understood what Hinata was trying to say.

“I…” Tsukki paused. “I think we should take him to a hospital to be safe. He’s dehydrated and his temperature is really high. That’s cause for concern alone. The headache is probably from dehydration.”

He was lying. Most of the others couldn’t tell, because to his credit Tsukki was an excellent liar. But Tadashi had been friends with him too long, and could tell when Tsukki was lying. And right now, he was scared shitless, but didn’t want the others to know.

Nishinoya made his way through the crowd of boys and handed something to Ennoshita - a towel, it looked like. Ennoshita folded it over and placed it on Kageyama’s forehead, holding it in place with his hand. It was damp, Tadashi realised. A small comfort for Kageyama. He kept Kageyama’s hand in his, and gently rubbed his thumb back and forth in a soothing motion. Kageyama continued to shiver and emit the odd noise of pain. The team surrounded him, those closest in proximity offering what little comfort they could. Tadashi noticed that Tsukki was examining Kageyama’s exposed arms and legs with odd intensity.

Mr. Takeda and Coach Ukai burst in with Narita following behind. Mr. Takeda looked to be in a panic as usual.

“Narita woke us up, he said it seemed serious.” Coach said, in a slightly strained voice.

Daichi nodded. “Kageyama’s got worse. He’s not very lucid and seems quite feverish.” He hesitated. “Tsukishima seems to think that we should take him to the hospital.”

Coach turned to Tsukki. “Any theories?”

Tsukki seemed uncomfortable with answering this question. “Uhhh - I’ll explain on the way. Yamaguchi probably knows more than I do though, he was the first one awake.” He paused, as if he just realised that he had willingly volunteered to go to the hospital with Kageyama .

Coach seemed to pick up on what Tsukki wasn’t saying, and turned to Mr. Takeda. “I’ll take them to the hospital, you stay here. Tsukishima and Yamaguchi, both of you come with me to the hospital -”

The other boys started to protest at this but Daichi silenced them, though Tadashi could tell that he didn’t like to be left behind either.

“Azumane, actually, would you mind…?” The request was clear. Aside from Tsukki, Azumane was the only boy taller than Kageyama. And probably the only one capable of carrying him. Azumane nodded, and gently gathered up his underclassman as carefully as he could. Kageyama still whined in pain at the moment, especially when the towel fell from its place on his head. Ennoshita gently placed it over his eyes again.

Captain Daichi, Sugawara and Mr. Takeda followed them as far as the car. Tadashi was ushered in first, and once he was settled, Azumane and Daichi gently placed Kageyama sideways in the backseat, with his head in Tadashi’s lap. Coach Ukai got in the driver seat and Tsukki had hardly even closed the passenger door when he was flooring it.

Kageyama continued to shiver. Tadashi gently rubbed the other boy’s back and tried to talk to him as best as he could. He could hear Tsukki and Coach talking in low tones in the front seat.

“Y’ma..chi…” 

Tadashi was taken back by surprise to see Kageyama looking up at him, eyes squinted but slightly open. He looked in pain, and very afraid.

“’M I dy’n?”

Shocked at the sudden question, Tadashi didn’t get the chance to respond before Tsukki did.

“Stop being so dramatic, Kageyama,” he sighed.

Kageyama if anything, looked more scared at this. “N’t k’ng.”

If he was lucid enough to see that, that made Tadashi feel slightly better. “You’re just sick, okay? Actually we should probably call your parents, right? Once we know what’s going on with you. Then I’m sure that they can come and look after you until you’re better. Or your siblings can. Wait, do you have siblings?”

Kageyama seemed to process everything slowly, but at least he was still understanding them a little. “N-no.”

“Oh, you don’t have siblings either? That makes sense I guess. Tsukki has an older brother though, sometimes it almost feels like I have one too since I spent so much time at his house growing up! You know, actually I think you’d like Akiteru. He plays volleyball, and even though he’s the older brother he’s not as tall as Tsukishima.”

Tadashi continued to babble nonsense to Kageyama until they pulled into the hospital. Tadashi thought that once they got to the hospital, that would be it. But the emergency room was overcrowded and they were told they would have to wait for triage, so they sat in the waiting area. Kageyama’s head was still in his lap with the towel over his eyes, and he was still trying to offer comfort to the boy where he could. Coach Ukai was trying to get the attention of one of the doctors, and Tsukki was doing the weird thing again where he was looking at Kageyama’s limbs.

“You have a suspicion.” Tadashi accused. “You didn’t want to tell the others because it’s bad isn’t it.”

There was a long silence. “Hope that I’m wrong.”

“At least tell me what you’re looking for so that if I see it first ….” Tadashi suggested. Kageyama shifted slightly and moaned in discomfort.

Tsukki sighed, he clearly didn’t want to say much in case Kageyama was even the smallest bit lucid. “If you see a rash anywhere. That’s what I’m looking for. Again, I could be wrong. Maybe we’re all wrong and -”

If they hadn’t been two volleyball players with fast reflexes, Kageyama would have fallen out of Tadashi’s lap and off the row of chairs the moment he started seizing. Tadashi hadn’t seen a seizure before, but he figured that was the only thing that he could use to describe the sudden jerking movements of Kageyama’s limbs. It seemed to shock the emergency room staff and Coach Ukai back into action, and before they knew what was going on, once Kageyama stopped moving they put him on a gurney as quickly as possible, shouting out scary things like IV lines and lumbar punctures and intercranial pressure. It happened so fast. One second he was shivering in Yamaguchi’s lap and the next thing he was gone.

Coach Ukai sat down beside them, placing his head in his hands. He sighed heavily. “Did you find a rash?”

“No,” Tsukki said. Now that Kageyama was gone, he seemed to think there was no point holding anything back now. He turned to Tadashi. “I didn’t want to tell the team because some of them wouldn’t know what it was and that would take explaining. And the explanation would have frightened them.”

“What do you think it is?” Tadashi asked, voice coming out small and unsure.

“Meningitis.” Tsukki said promptly. “Which is bad if it’s bacterial because we’ll all be at risk.”

Comprehension dawned on Tadashi. “That’s why you’re looking for the rash. That’s the most common symptom.”

“And why I asked about migraines. You can sometimes get them from overworking yourself or dehydration, but it’s not that common and the other symptoms were odd.”

“It also explains why it happened so fast,” Ukai added. “Kageyama was up at dawn this morning jogging - oh, yesterday morning I guess. Man how did that happen, it’s already like 7am.”

“Has someone contacted his family?” Tadashi asked.

Ukai sighed and shook his head. “We wanted to wait until we had information that was a bit more concrete, since we weren’t sure how serious it was. But after that I’d say we better contact his family. I’ll go let Takeda know. Are you two okay here until I get back?”

They nodded, and Coach Ukai went down the hall to make his phonecall to Mr. Takeda to update him.

Tsukki sighed, “He is such an idiot.”

Tadashi frowned. “Ukai?”

Tsukki shook his head, “No, the King. Not saying anything about how bad he felt. What was he thinking?”

In the quiet chaos of the emergency department, Tadashi laughed. Some might have taken Tsukki’s words as condemning, but Tadashi could hear the concern in them. As much as he’d like to deny it, Tsukki cared for his teammates. He wouldn’t be sitting in a hospital before dawn on a Saturday if he didn’t. “I mean, you are always calling him an idiot, so I’m not sure why you’re surprised.” He sobered up. “I don’t think he knew. By the time it got really bad I don’t think he was thinking right, he seemed pretty out of it.”

They sat in silence as the world moved on around them. They briefly discussed whether they should contact the team and update them, but figured whatever Ukai told Takeda would inevitably be passed on. And they didn’t feel comfortable messaging the group chat when Kageyama would see it later.

Coach Ukai came back, looking very weary. “Takeda had already contacted his family. His father is on a business trip but his mother is on the way. Once she gets here, I’m going to take the two of you back to the school and Takeda will come here. He insisted, says that the practises can go on without him anyway. Are you two okay to stay here until his mother gets here?”

They nodded. They’d been here through the worst of it, so being here a little longer wouldn’t kill them.

Coach seemed a bit hesitant, but continued. “I know it may seem harsh given what happened last night, or unsympathetic even, but I am going to continue training as normal today which is why Takeda will come to the hospital instead. I think it would be good for all of you to take your mind after what happened last night. However -” he paused, and looked directly at Tsukki and Tadashi in turn as he spoke. “If either of you feels like it is too much, I would completely understand. Tsukishima, you held up well under the stress of trying to not worry your teammates when you figured out what was wrong with Kageyama, and you’ve done well since you’ve been here as well. Yamaguchi, you did a great job at offering Kageyama comfort when he was probably scared out of his mind. He literally had a seizure in your lap. I would understand if either of the two of you wanted to go home after this.”

Go home? Tadashi wasn’t sure if that would do any good. Even if he went home, he probably wouldn’t be able to stop worrying about Kageyama. Working out his frustrations with some heavy practise seemed like the better option.

“I’d rather go back and practise with the rest of the team, to be honest.” Tadashi said. “I’d rather be with the team while waiting for news.”

Tsukki nodded. “I agree. But thank you, Coach.”

It caught them both off guard when Ukai burst out laughing. “I should have expected nothing less.”

*-*-*-*

Tadashi had known Tsukki’s parents for years. Since Tsukki was one of his few friends, it meant that he couldn’t remember what it was like meeting someone’s parents for the first time - the expectations of what they would be like.

Kageyama’s mother had a presence, that much was for certain. Tadashi could feel it as soon as she walked in. It was similar to Kageyama’s; an aura of confidence he supposed. However she was also a mother, which meant that in spite of this, she was also a bit of a mess with concern for her son.

Before she even introduced herself to Coach the three of them were on their feet because they could see the similarities to her son. Having been given a description of Coach, she didn’t even introduce herself before saying. “Tobio - how is he?”

Coach did most of the explaining. Mr. Takeda had given her an account of everything up until they left for the hospital, and Coach took over from there, asking Tadashi and Tsukki for their input on occasion. Her eyes went wide when Coach got as far as explaining the seizure.

“We haven’t heard anything since,” Coach explained, “I have to take the boys back to the school now, unfortunately I think it’s best if they go back to practise… though it may seem in poor taste.”

Kageyama’s mother shook her head. “Knowing Tobio he would be angrier if you cancelled the practise than if you didn’t. He would probably say they all need the practise.”

Despite themselves, they all laughed at that and the tension alleviated just a little. Because she was right, Kageyama would be absolutely furious if they cancelled practise just to wait around for news about him.

“Mr. Takeda will come here once I’m back at the school with the boys.” Coach Ukai promised.

Kageyama’s mother nodded. And then turned to the other two boys. She seemed to hesitate for a moment before suddenly dipping into a deep bow. When she spoke again, she stayed facing the ground and her voice shook. “Since Tobio has started at Karasuno, I’ve seen the change that has come over him. He’s been happier than he has in a long time, and I know it’s because of how much he loves being part of your team. I already owed you so much for how happy he has been these last few months - but, but now…” When she looked up, there were tears in her eyes - but in spite of this she was smiling. “Now I think I owe you boys even more. Thank you for taking such good care of my Tobio.”

Both boys nodded awkwardly, unsure what to say in the face of such honest affection. Though he was awful at displaying emotions, it was clear where Kageyama got his brutally honest nature from.

“When he’s up for visitors we’ll be sure to be by.” Tadashi promised, ensuring an emphasis on the ‘when’.

Kageyama’s mother straightened up and nodded with a smile, as if she expected nothing less. Coach smiled too as he gestured to the boys. “We’d better be going back to the school. Mr. Takeda, who spoke with you on the phone, will be here in a little while.”

Kageyama’s mother nodded. “Thank you Coach Ukai. And to both of you boys too, Tsukishima and Yamaguchi.”

They bowed, and left the emergency department. Tadashi kept glancing over at Kageyama’s mom as they left, and when they were outside he had to to blink numerous times in order to adjust his eyes to the light. It had been dark when they’d arrived who knows how many hours ago.

Coach turned to them again . “Last chance - are you sure you’re okay to go back to the school to practise?”

Tsukki answered first. “I don’t want the King to have the opportunity to scold me if he found out we were ditching practise.”

Tadashi laughed, “You know he’ll find something though.” He turned to Coach Ukai. “Let’s head back.”

The three of them headed towards Ukai’s small car, trying their hardest not to let their worry show.

Kageyama would be fine.

He’d be fine.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tadashi deals with the (emotional) fallout.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Added some trigger warnings into the tags. Proceed with caution.

The car ride back to the school was completely silent, and none of them felt obligated to change that. Coach didn’t even bother to turn on the radio or anything to get rid of the silence - it just seemed right. Maybe because in their minds, as soon as they got to the school they would be inundated with questions from the other team members, so they’d best enjoy the peace while they could.

Not that their minds were peaceful. Tadashi kept replaying that awful seizure in his mind.

What if he had just gone back to sleep? Would that have woken him up again?

Once Coach’s car pulled into the parking lot, he told them to wait a minute while he went inside. He returned after about ten minutes with their volleyball gear, and ushered them to the club room to change while he insisted on going in ahead of them.

Aside from the noise of the volleyballs being received or hitting the ground, as well as the odd squeak of volleyball shoes on wood, the gym was unnervingly silent when Tadashi and Tsukki entered. The entire team turned and looked, and Tadashi had a feeling that they wanted to ask a million questions but had been told not to. Mr. Takeda left not long after Tadashi and Tsukki arrived, and then practice continued as normally as it possibly could given the circumstances.

It was eerie. Hinata was creepily quiet without Kageyama to wind him up, and Tsukki hadn’t made any smarmy comments to the shorter boy at all that day. Hadn’t made comments to anyone else at all really.

As much as he called a good number of his teammates idiots, Tadashi knew Tsukki cared about them. Even if he would never admit it.

So practice continued, unnervingly silent as they worked on different skill sets. 

Serves, where no one commented that Tadashi’s jump float serves weren’t as good as they had been the previous day.

Blocks, where no one commented that Tsukki’s timing was just a little bit off.

Spikes, where no one commented on the fact that they only had one setter for the entire team today.

It was important to work on the various skill sets of course, but today they had originally planned to have another practise match with the team splitting off into two but.

Well.

They were one player short now.

So the day dragged on. They took a few breaks of course, but they were filled with very brief small talk which fizzled out very quickly.

Needless to say that when Mr. Takeda came back late that afternoon, they all dropped what they were doing pretty much immediately. Volleyballs were dumped in the middle of the gym as they rushed to their teacher’s side. Coach Ukai didn’t stop them either, he was probably as eager for news as either of them.

Before any of them could get a word in, Mr. Takeda headed them off. “Kageyama will be fine. The doctor assured me and his mother as much.”

There was a collective sigh of relief.

“Is… is he really okay?” Hinata dared to ask. He had looked very nervy all day, and even Mr. Takeda's update didn’t seem to be calming those nerves as of yet.

Their teacher smiled reassuringly at the other first year. “He is, I promise you. Although-”

Mr. Takeda turned to Coach Ukai as if for permission. “Yeah go ahead, it’s not like we were getting that much practise done anyways with how distracted they all were.”

They were ushered to the corner of the gym where they all sat. It was almost like a meeting for team strategies - Mr. Takeda and Coach Ukai sat flanked by their managers, as the boys sat looking at them expectantly. All eyes were on Mr. Takeda.

“The first thing that has to be said,” Mr. Takeda began with incredible seriousness, “Is this. Yamaguchi - when you woke up, why didn’t you simply go back to sleep?”

Why indeed? Tadashi had been wondering the very same thing on and off for the entire day. Why hadn’t he gone back to sleep when he initially was disturbed from his sleep? Why did he get up and feel he had to check on Kageyama? 

There was really only thing he could say on the matter. “A gut feeling.”

Mr. Takeda nodded before then turning to Tsukki. “And Tsukishima. You were the one who insisted to Ukai and I that Kageyama be taken to hospital. You told us that you suspected that Kageyama had meningitis.” There was a sharp intake of breath at this from some of the team - those of them who knew what meningitis was, and how serious it was, most likely. The colour drained from the faces of all the third years.

Mr. Takeda let that sit with them for a moment before continuing. “We had brought this possibility up with the doctors in the hospital. It turns out Tsukishima was right. If Tsukishima had not insisted on taking Kageyama to the hospital when he did, Kageyama would have been in far worse condition.”

His statement was met with silence. He looked around, catching the eye of each team member to convey the gravity of the situation. Tadashi could feel dread pool in his stomach. He had a feeling he knew what Mr. Takeda was going to say next. It would be hard, but they needed to hear it. He then turned to Tadashi, looking him right in the eye. “Yamaguchi, if you had simply gone back to sleep after waking up, or not have woken up at all, Kageyama would have died.”

Silence.

Tadashi had thought of that.

Of course he had. 

Anytime he thought of the fact that he had somehow woken up, it was punctuated by “but why didn’t I just go back to sleep?”

And then he thought of what could have happened if he hadn’t.

He could have woken up to find one of his teammates dead.

He could have woken up to find one of his teammates dead beside him.

While he had slept and done _nothing_.

“-very serious disease.” Mr. Takeda was saying now. Tadashi had obviously missed a question in there somewhere. “Essentially the lining around the brain swells up putting pressure on the brain. It works very quickly, and depending on the type it can also spread very quickly too. In Kageyama’s case, he had what’s called bacterial meningitis which unfortunately you can’t vaccinate against and is the faster acting one. That’s why he deteriorated so quickly - although he may not have felt up to sharing all his symptoms.” Takeda added, with a dark look on his face. The team was getting the feeling that once Kageyama was recovered from his illness, he would be facing one hell of a lecture from their teacher.

“Is there anything we can do?” Suga asked. Mr Takeda smiled in response.

“Not for the moment. His mother said she would keep us updated on his condition and that once Kageyama is well enough, that he should be up for visitors.”

Coach Ukai laughed heartily. “Well, if that’s the prognosis, it sounds like it’s all in Kageyama’s capable hands. The rest of you can get back to training for Nationals.”

And so they returned to training for the rest of the day, most of them less distracted now that they knew Kageyama would be okay.

The “most of them” who hadn’t seen the worst of it.

Not the panic he’d had in the car.

Not the seizure.

It haunted Tadashi, from the rest of training all the way to the dinner he was pushing around his plate rather than simply eating it.

“You’re not sick as well, are you? I don’t think any of us could take the strain of a second first year being carted off to the hospital.”

Tadashi looked up as Suga slipped down in front of him with a wan smile. Tadashi shook his head.

“It’s nothing like that, I promise. I just don’t have much of an appetite. Thinking too much.”

Suga nodded, “Ennoshita filled us in a little with what happened. He was really worried, but said he thought you’d handled things well.”

“I was,” Tadashi replied evenly. “Handling it, I mean. I was scared of course but - well I just pushed all of that down as much as possible. I don’t know why it’s suddenly hitting me all now.”

Suga hummed as he absently ran his finger over the rim of his glass. “I think it makes sense it would hit you now. The threat is over. You’re allowed to think on how awful it was and how much worse things could have gone. You’re allowed second guess things. What happened was traumatic and well, everyone was amazed with how well you held things together. You’re only fifteen, after all.” Suga winked. “Even if for only another few weeks.”

Tadashi let out a startled laugh. “Of course you guys keep track of things like that.”

“Shimizu is very thorough about these things. I’m sure Tsukishima hated it.”

“Oh he did,” Tadashi said lightly. “Tsukki hates having a fuss made over him for his birthday. I’m sure he was extra bitter because nobody made a fuss out of Hinata or Kageyama for their birthdays.” Hinata was older than him and Tsukki - that much Tadashi knew. He’d been telling Tsukki to respect his elders the entirety of Tsukki's birthday week. Naturally Tsukki had responded by telling Hinata he must have shrunk in his old age. Hinata had not been able to come up with a rebuttal other than angry gibberish.

“There’s still time.” Suga laughed.

“Yeah, I suppose there is always next year.” Tadashi conceded.

“More like next month.”

Tadashi dropped his fork in surprise. “Next month?”

Sugawara nodded, “Yeah, December is probably the month with the most birthdays. Kageyama, Ennoshita and Daichi are all around the end of December, almost within the same week actually. And then Asahi and Shimizu are both in the first week of January! Maybe we should just have one big joint Christmas and birthday party!”

“Tsukki would _hate_ that,” was out of Tadashi’s mouth before he could think of anything else. Suga chuckled.

“Better not let Tanaka or Nishinoya know that. Then they’d really want to push for a big party.”

Tadashi chuckled at that. Tanaka and Nishinoya really did like to test Tsukki’s patience.

“Feeling better?”

Tadashi blinked in surprise. “Yeah actually. Thanks.”

Suga waved his hand dismissively. “All in a senpai’s line of work. Just remember that if you ever want to talk, I can be a pretty good listener.”

On that note, he stood again and smiled at Tadashi before heading to the table with the other third years. Even after Suga had left to join Captain Daichi and Azumane, Tadashi still felt a little lighter.

And it lasted pretty much the whole evening.

Of course, until he had to sleep.

How could he sleep if there was the possibility of waking up beside a dead teammate?

Who’s to say it wouldn’t happen again?

*-*-*-*

“You look awful,” Tsukki told him at breakfast the next morning.

Tadashi didn’t need to be told. He felt pretty terrible, and was honestly ready to leave this awful training camp behind him. It felt like the longest weekend of his life, and it unfortunately was not over yet.

“Yeah, I feel it,” Tadashi admitted. There was no point lying, not to Tsukki. “I heard we have a practise match with another team as well today.”

Tsukki nodded. “I wasn’t sure if that would still go ahead but I guess it makes sense. Anything could happen at Nationals.”

He wasn’t wrong. One of them could drop dead tomorrow.

Tadashi shook his head in surprise. He wasn’t usually this morbid! Why was he being like this? Why was he dwelling on this?

“I think they were planning on switching us out a lot anyway.” Tadashi said instead. 

Both first years looked up in surprise when Ennoshita suddenly sat down beside the two of them. Usually, they were left to their own devices at meals. He tsked when he saw their mostly full plates. “Suga was telling me that you guys didn’t eat much dinner yesterday. Make sure to eat up your breakfast though, we need everyone at full strength today.”

Tadashi sighed and picked a little more at his breakfast. No one seemed to be dwelling on the fact that he and Tsukki had missed breakfast yesterday and then played volleyball all day once they got back. But considering all that had happened, Tadashi couldn’t fault them with being concerned. His eyes drifted to Tanaka and Nishinoya at the table opposite, who were extra boisterous today. Anyone could see that it was to cheer Hinata up. 

It still boggled Tadashi’s mind that Hinata and Kageyama had gone from hating each other to being as in sync as they were. Even if they argued a lot, most people could tell they actually really enjoyed riling each other up. It made sense that their teammates were worried about how all this was affecting Hinata after how worried he’d been yesterday.

It made sense they were worried about him and Tsukki too, even though it made Tadashi a little on edge being observed so keenly by his senpai. Everyone was still a little on edge, that much Tadashi could tell. Even if Kageyama would be fine - he would, Mr. Takeda had said he would - everyone had still had a scare. It had been a really scary situation so it makes sense that he’d still be a bit frazzled by it.

Ennoshita made small talk with him and Tsukki over breakfast in much the same way that Suga had the previous evening. It was easy, and took his mind off of things for the brief amount of time it took them to slowly finish their breakfasts. Then they cleaned up, and headed back to the hall for practise.

They started with warm ups and some general drills. Receives with Nishinoya, serve practise, spiking practise. The last of which they had to cut a little shorter than others, as they couldn’t afford to have Suga tired out before the practise match could even begin. He was the only player they wouldn’t be able to sub out other than Nishinoya, who would at least get small breaks during play.

The practise match they had lined up was a school in Miyagi they had never really dealt with before, as they had never crossed paths with them in either of the previous tournaments. Kirinyama were a decent team by all accounts, Karasuno had just happened to be seeded differently so the other team had been crushed by Shiratorizawa early on in both tournaments. Ever since Karasuno had played a full set against Aoba Johsai in June, it had become a bit easier to set up practise matches. Defeating Shiratorizawa and being the Miyagi representative for Nationals meant that now it was even easier than before. Who didn’t want to challenge themselves by playing the team bound for Nationals after all?

Their starting line up was much the same as ever, except that Kageyama was replaced with Suga. Tadashi wasn’t imagining it that the other team were looking around the gym, their eyes searching. He’d heard it all at most of their matches, both in tournaments and small practise matches. Even before they’d gotten rid of their reputation of being fallen crows, both Kageyama and Nishinoya had stood out enough that people remembered them from their middle school days. If the team had watched their previous matches, it was obvious who they would be on the look out for. Back when the team had been messy and uncoordinated, Kageyama and Nishinoya had been able to plug up a lot of the holes so it was natural that they still stood out.

Kirinyama was up to serve first. As always, Captain Daichi received it cleanly and sent it in Suga’s direction who set it for Tanaka. The other team got it up, and then made an attempt to score their own point which was then blocked by Azumane and Daichi.

Karasuno was still good, of that there was no denial. Suga was still a good setter - but there were a few things that they took for granted, which as a non-regular Tadashi could see a little more. It had been less necessary as everyone’s receives had improved, but Kageyama still covered for the messy receives quite a bit more than they'd admit. The other obvious difference was the spikers who got utilised. No one really ever said it, but Suga and Kageyama both had tendencies to toss to certain people, especially in the synchronised attacks. For Kageyama, he tended to lean towards tossing to Hinata in order to effectively use their quick combo. Suga tended to send his tosses to their ace. Tadashi could foresee Hinata getting frustrated in this game, which if he was still worried about Kageyama, would not be good.

Tadashi had expected his traditional role of being sent in as pinch server. However, Coach seemed to want to take advantage of the strangeness and instead had a lot of the team rotate in and out over the course of the game. Daichi was first to be subbed out with Ennoshita taking his place, as had been the case when he’d been injured. Likewise, Narita took over for Tsukki. Kinoshita replaced Azumane. Once Yamaguchi was rotated in and Hinata came off, the only people remaining from the team’s main starters were Nishinoya and Tanaka. And Tanaka was being only a little smug about it, which was around the time that Coach had him switch with Daichi. If only to take the grin off his face for some well needed levity.

They swapped around a lot for the rest of the match and it was messy, but they managed to always coordinate somehow. They did often do six on six games, which was working to their benefit - even if they had a starting line up that rarely changed, they were getting more used to different combinations. Karasuno managed to keep Kirinyama at bay for most of the game and won most of the sets, even if they were slightly messy about going about it. Kirinyama were a decent team with lot of tall players which made their blocks tricky, but most of them seemed like they were awkwardly still getting used to their height, not unlike Lev from Nekoma. 

The members of Kirinyama came over and shook their hands after, then Daichi and their team’s captain spoke for a little while. A group of team members were standing not too far from them, and quickly seemed to get in an argument about something. Finally, one of them - the oldest looking one, probably a second year since most third years would be retired now - rolled his eyes and walked up to Tadashi and Hinata, who were starting to take down the net. They looked at him expectantly.

“Didn’t you guys used to have a different setter before? A first year?”

Tadashi and Hinata were struck dumb for a moment, unsure of what to say. Even if his absence had been felt the entire time, the practise match had taken their mind off of Kageyama, if for a little while.

“He’s sick,” Ennoshita said from behind them. Tadashi started, he hadn’t notice Ennoshita come over. That was twice in one day he'd let that happen.

The other player nodded, and let the brief explanation slide, saying that now he that remembered, their coach did mention someone not being well. It was a gross understatement of what had actually happened of course, which is why he and Hinata had paused for so long when asked such a simple question. But of course this random player from other team didn’t need the gory details, didn’t need to know about the seizure or the fear, or how Tadashi could have woken up to find Kageyama -

No. No he had to stop going there! He had to get his thoughts away from there!

They cleaned up and once Kirinyama had left, were given post game notes as usual. Tadashi zoned in and out of the conversation. He really couldn’t find it in himself to focus these last few days. He did tune back in when Mr. Takeda said he had been in contact with Kageyama’s mother throughout the day, and that he was relatively stable but it would a while before he would be up for any kind of visitors. With that they were dismissed, and though Daichi extended an offer to go for meatbuns as usual, Tadashi and Tsukki declined. Usually, Tadashi would be up for going for meatbuns after practise with his senpai but today all he really wanted was to get home. They turned and started to walk the other direction, but hadn’t got far when a voice called out after them.

Tadashi was not surprised to turn around and see Suga trotting after them. He paused for a minute before speaking.

“I know that I probably sound like a broken record when I say this, but if either of you guys need to talk about what happened this weekend, you guys have my number and the offer is always there. And that goes for most of the team. What you guys witnessed was pretty awful and a lot for anybody to see. So don’t keep anything bottled up. Okay?”

Tadashi nodded mutely, while Tsukki let out an, “Okay, thank you.”

Suga smiled wanly at them, before turning to leave with a wave. “I’ll see you guys at practise. Make sure you rest up.” 

Tadashi and Tsukki turned to go walk home together, most of it spent in silence. At least until Tsukki sighed loudly.

“This has really been bothering you.”

There was no point denying it. “Yes. It has.”

“You seemed to deal with it okay at the time. What’s changed?” Tsukki asked.

Tadashi wished he could have been as cool about this as Tsukki was. It wasn’t that Tsukki didn’t care about Kageyama - as much as the other boy annoyed Tsukki, he did care about his well being. He was just able to get past this in a way Tadashi wasn’t. Maybe it’s because Tadashi was more prone to thinking the worst in any given situation. His parents said it was a talent.

“Just something Mr. Takeda said,” Tadashi replied without elaborating.

Tsukki actually paused for a moment before sighing again. “There’s no point getting hung up on what could have been. The idiot didn’t die then, we were there when they said he wasn’t going to die and his mom seems pretty sure he still won’t die. He’s a stubborn idiot, after all.”

The words may have sounded cold, but Tadashi could see through his friend. “You’re right. And I know that you’re right. It’s just… hard.”

“I know. You over think these things far too much. Just… if you need to talk to somebody more, do. Take Sugawara up on his offer. The Captain, Ennoshita, you know they’ve been keeping an eye on both of us too. Your parents, me. Just don’t over think.”

People often wondered how two boys who seemed so different personality wise could be so close, when they looked at him and Tsukki. Not many people vocalised it, but it was often written on their faces. They didn’t see this side of Tsukki, who could act aloof to others but at the end of the day was one of Tadashi’s biggest support systems.

“Thanks Tsukki,” Tadashi said genuinely, as they made the rest of their journey to their respective houses in silence.

*-*-*-*

Mr. Takeda had apparently been in contact with all their parents, which Tadashi hadn’t realised until he got home. Logically, to do this for the entire team made sense - they’d all slept in a room with someone who had a highly infectious illness. Mr. Takeda had probably let their parents know the previous day to give them the option of taking their kids home, just in case. Since none of the rest of them had developed any symptoms, that’s likely also why the practise match was allowed to go ahead.

Of course in Tadashi’s case, Mr. Takeda had obviously given them all the details, judging by the way that both his parents swarmed him as soon as he walked in the door. 

“Your teacher told us about your teammate!” his mother said as she enveloped him in a hug. “He couldn’t tell us which teammate exactly though. It wasn’t Tsukishima was it? He said you went to the hospital with him when it happened! You must have been so scared Tadashi!”

He knew his mother was trying her best at comfort, but if he was being honest it was actually stressing him out even more. Well, his anxious nature had to come from somewhere after all.

“No, it wasn’t. It was one of the other first years.” Tadashi responded, unsure how much detail he was to go into. It’s not like his parents knew the names of all of his teammates.

“One of the ones you helped tutor?” his father asked. Tadashi nodded in response, surprised his parents would remember such a detail.

“Yeah… I just happened to be the one to wake in the middle of the night and he… just didn’t seem that great so -”

He stopped. It was still all too fresh. At least the team had already known. They had been there. He hadn’t had to explain.

His parents shared a concerned look, before his mother stepped back from their embrace. “It’s okay. You don’t have to tell us about it now.”

“We have a nice dinner ready for you though,” his father added, “figured you’d be hungry from a full weekend of practise.”

Tadashi nodded, even though he didn’t feel like eating, not really. All he felt really was a little on edge, which at the time, he hadn’t really thought about.

The warning signs had been there, with the benefit of hindsight. In theory, he’d known the signs, but it wasn’t until it happened that Tadashi was aware of what was going on.

The first sign was so subtle he hadn’t noticed it. He was looking at his dinner that evening in frustration, wondering how he could even fathom eating it. It had been the same for the last day or so, really. Except this time he felt a little nauseous at the prospect of food. Even the glass of water in front of him made him feel queasy. Suddenly the feeling of nausea was all he could think about, and he was tuning out the conversation his parents were currently having. If they noticed he was being a bit distant, they didn’t pass a comment but he supposed that they were making sure to give him space.

When his parents finished their meal, he got up to help wash the dishes but his parents waved him off, smiling at him and telling him he must be exhausted and to not worry, they could handle this from here. So Tadashi nodded, and made his way to his room instead where he collapsed onto the bed.

It didn’t happen immediately. He wasn’t even really thinking about what had happened the last few days, that was the strange thing. He was only looking for his volleyball bag, because he needed to unpack it.

Just his volleyball bag. That was all.

But where was it? Where had it gone? Didn’t he bring it back from practise with him?

He - 

Wait.

When did it get so hard to breathe?

Why couldn’t he breathe?

He should -

He couldn’t -

He could.

Deep breaths.

He needed to calm down, and just _breathe_.

Take control and stop the shallow breaths.

Just focus on breathing.

But why was it so _hard_.

It took longer than Tadashi would have liked, but he finally got his breathing under control.

That… had never happened before. Logically he was aware of what had just happened, but still.

He’d never had a panic attack before. Sure, he was prone to being incredibly anxious. But this… this was new.

And why now, so suddenly? And over something so stupid, like his volleyball gear? It was just so strange.

He could still feel the adrenaline surging through him, but he curled up on his bed, pulling the covers up over himself.

He couldn’t let anyone worry about him.

Everyone had enough to worry about.

So Tadashi pulled his blankets over himself, and still fully dressed, did his best to fall into yet another uneasy sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First off - thanks to all that commented and left kudos you guys! Lot of you guys seemed to guess what was wrong with Kags which was great, it means I captured it well. i really appreciated all the comments, sorry for the giant delay on the second chapter. I swapped to a different fic in January, then I had a big trip planned for March which meant I was busy organising that and wrapping up things at work in order to take like four weeks off for a holiday. And then you can take a guess at what happened with my big trip given what's going on in the world these days but it involved having to alter my itinerary for the start of the trip like the weekend before going, and then having to scramble for an earlier flight back two weeks early lest I get stranded on another continent. Hope all you guys are keeping safe in these scary times.
> 
> Not so fun fact, but a panic attack was not originally gonna feature in this fic, but then I figured honestly it was building up to it a little. I've only ever had one and it was very recent, so was based on my own experience of what it's like to have one. Sorry Yamaguchi, guess I'm projecting onto you.
> 
> Kirinyama is presumably not a real school in Miyagi, I wanted some sort of nondescript opponent who didn't know the team very well so I just followed the animal symbolism in Haikyuu for naming purposes. It's also likely that there's probably a lot of decent schools we never see because Shiratorizawa wiped the floor with them before they appeared.
> 
> Suga was supposed to be a bit more prominent in my original vision of this before Tsukki muscled his way in, so that's slowly being rectified. I like the relationship that he and Yamaguchi have in the series so that's been fun to explore and it'll be more so in the next chapter. Yup. Y'all might have noticed that the chapter count has once again increased by one. This thing is slowly growing legs. But since I've been in self isolation the last two weeks since my trip was cut short (anyone who's been abroad recently has to self isolate in my country) it's finally given me a chance to finish this off.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tadashi gets through things with the help of his team.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *sighs* at this point I've just given up on estimating chapters for this. It is now "?" number of chapters. Thanks to all the people still commenting and kudos-ing.

It had been another night of dreaming of discovering not just Kageyama’s body, but those of the rest of his teammates started to appear as well. Tadashi woke up feeling the same odd on edge feeling he had the previous day. He’d read up on some techniques after what had happened last night, and tried some general breathing exercises in order to stave off any other potential panic attacks. He still went to practise that morning as usual, but practising while trying to keep his head straight was exhausting, even if the internet said that exercise was good. Trying to pay attention in class was even worse, especially with the level he and Tsukki were at. But he struggled on through the day, not failing to notice how closely he was being watched by Tsukki. And when they were practising, the entirety of the team. Well, they had their attention divided between him and Hinata. 

The weak links.

He managed a day - almost two - of this, somehow before Suga cornered him again. It must have been something he’d discussed with Tsukki beforehand as well, because before he knew it his best friend had taken off after practise without him. The biggest giveaway though had been Suga took him to the clubroom on Tuesday evening with no preamble and opened with, “Everyone is worried about you.”

Tadashi sat down beside Suga with a sigh. He knew he hadn’t been exactly subtle with how badly this was all affecting him, but it was still pretty annoying how transparent he had been. “Yeah. I can tell.”

“Have you talked to anyone about what’s wrong? It could help you know.” 

“I just -” Tadashi cut himself off. “It’s stupid. I know what keeps going through my head is stupid, but I just - it’s like I can’t stop myself. Having those thoughts. They just, they keep-I can’t stop them.”

Suga hummed thoughtfully. “What would you say is the main thing that’s causing this? The one thought that you just can’t get rid of?”

Tadashi looked pointedly at his shoes, wondering how to form his thoughts coherently. “Me and Kageyama… we’ve never really talked much. We’re not exactly close. Even though we’re both first years and joined the club at the same time, outside of volleyball I don’t really know that much about him. I mean, I don’t know if he actually does much outside of volleyball given the amount of time he spends on it, and I know that his grades aren’t the best but -”

“Yamaguchi,” Sugawara gently prodded. He seemed pretty aware that Tadashi had gone off on a tangent so he could avoid this talk as long as he could.

“Right. It’s just the main thing that’s bothering me is… what if I hadn’t woken up when I did? Like Mr. Takeda said.”

He couldn’t look at his senpai, but he knew from the way he shifted uncomfortably he hadn’t dwelled on this much.

“I keep having nightmares about it. Waking up in the morning, thinking about dumb things like the training camp or about the geometry test I had last week. Then I look next to me and the person next to me is dead. Mostly it’s Kageyama, but the last few nights sometimes it’s somebody else from the team. I wake up and they’re dead, and it’s not always an illness sometimes there’s blood everywhere so someone obviously came in and killed them and it’s my fault because who the hell sleeps peacefully while someone is dying next to them, I mean who does that other than like, complete psychopaths- “

“Yamaguchi,” Sugawara interrupts softly. Tadashi looks up in surprise, he’d been on the verge of hyperventilating.

“I’m sorry.” Tadashi said, pulling his knees to his chest. “I’m not sure where that came from.”

“Don’t be sorry.” Suga said firmly. “You know where that came from. It came from being in an extremely stressful situation and having to keep your composure as best as you could. You had to be there for Kageyama, because he was sick and scared and had no idea what was going on. And you did a great job. Tsukishima told me how you talked to Kageyama in the car when he asked you if he was dying.”

Tadashi looked up in surprise again. “Tsukki told you about that?”

Suga nodded with a serious look on his face. “He’s been really worried about you.”

Tadashi’s mind goes completely blank at that and he has no idea what to say to it but did not expect to accidentally blurt out, “I think I had a panic attack on Sunday when I got back from the camp.”

It’s almost comical how quickly the shock overtakes the third year’s face. But Suga somehow manages to push down the shock and calmly say, “Have you told anyone else about this?”

Tadashi shakes his head. “It was after dinner and I didn’t want to worry my parents. It was - I don’t want to worry anyone. And it was over a stupid thing anyway, I just couldn’t find my volleyball bag. And then suddenly - it just got hard to breathe. I’ve never had a panic attack before so I didn’t know for sure if that’s what it was.”

“I’ve not had personal experience with it either,” Suga replied, “But I know someone who does. And from what they’ve described to me in the past, it does sound likely that’s what happened.”

Tadashi groaned. “But why over something so dumb? If it had happened at training camp, I mean I would have understood. But just because I couldn’t find that bag….”

“Yamaguchi. The training camp started on Friday evening, and you would have been really tired after all the training drills. Then you were woken up in the middle of the night, thrown in an incredibly stressful situation, didn’t get to sleep until the following night - though from what you’ve said, you probably didn’t sleep much that night either. Then you played another full on day of practise, which included a practise game with another school. And don’t think we didn’t notice you weren’t eating as much either. Between the stress and lack of sleep, it was bound to happen eventually.” Suga paused, before hesitantly asking. “Do you feel like it might happen again? Is that why you’ve been so distracted?”

He could deny it, it technically was only part of the reason why he’s been so distracted. But. What was the point of that after he’d already told Suga this much. “Yeah a little bit. That and I’m also just worried about Kageyama. It’s been a few days and we still haven’t heard all that much. Obviously I’ve looked up a little about meningitis since, but I have to stop myself because of all the possible complications that could have happened, like deafness or blindness or epilepsy -”

“There’s been none, as far as we know.” Suga interrupted. Tadashi looked at him in surprise, and the older boy smiled ruefully. “Daichi and I may have been grilling Mr. Takeda so much about how Kageyama was that he put us in touch with his mother. We were worried she’d think we were bothering her but - “

“But she was just so happy to see that people are looking out for him.” Tadashi finished.

A laugh. “Yeah. Not surprising given what happened on his middle school team I guess. But yeah, she’s been keeping us in the loop. As soon as he’s well enough for visitors, she wants us to come over. I mean not everyone at once obviously, it would have to be in groups. We could take turns.”

“That won’t work,” Tadashi laughed, “You know that Hinata will want to go every time so he can nag Kageyama to get better. He’d probably say if it were him, he’d already be better by now.”

Both boys laughed in unison at the image of Hinata and Kageyama getting into one of those ridiculous competitions of theirs.

“I know it’s hard to get your mind off of.” His senpai conceded. “It’s been a hard few days. But Kageyama is getting better. He will get beter. And when he does, we’ll all be there for him again. Sure some of us on the team may not be as close to each other as we could be, but that’s just the nature of things when you have a lot of different personalities involved. So don’t feel guilty about that. We’re a team, and we all have different roles to play. Okay?”

Tadashi nodded. He felt a bit better, and less on edge than he had the last few days. “I’m sorry about this, Suga.”

“Tch, no apologies. Now. What do you say to heading down to Sakanoshita and getting some food? I don’t know about you but I’m pretty hungry after all that.”

Whether “that” consisted of their talk or the practise that had preceded it, Tadashi wasn’t sure but he agreed none the less. Later, after they had eaten their meatbuns together - the rest of the team had long since gone home - talking about less emotionally charged things, Tadashi realised he still wasn’t 100% okay. But that was fine. It might take time to get over this.

But he sure had the support system to help.

*-*-*-*

The following day after school instead of training, most of the team were going to the hospital to get vaccinations for menningitis. It wouldn’t protect them against the type Kageyama had had - his had been bacterial, rather than viral - but it would be better than nothing and give their parents peace of mind if nothing else. It had been announced at the start of the week that a student had been ill with meningitis, and the school had encouraged them to get vaccinated if possible. He’d heard that other schools in the area had been told similar things, and any clubs had been really encouraged to get their members vaccinated.

So on Wednesday evening, they were taken to the local hospital and taken for their vaccinations one at a time. As if to set an example, the third years went first - though they could tell that Azumane really hadn’t wanted to. The rest of the team were talking amongst themselves. In Daichi and Suga’s absence, Ennoshita had been designated babysitter for Tanaka and Noya, but they were being surprisingly well-behaved.

“Mrs Kageyama!” The whole waiting room probably heard Hinata shouting at the poor woman, but the rest of the team couldn’t care less. She turned and gave a strained smile to Hinata. Tadashi frowned. Mrs. Kageyama looked absolutely exhausted, more so then when she had arrived to the hospital in the early hours of Saturday morning. Hinata ran right over to her, and after a minute or two the rest of the team trailed behind slowly.

“Hello Shouyou,” Kageyama’s mother said fondly, if tiredly. “It’s good to see you.”

To his great surprise, she then turned to Tadashi and Tsukki with the same smile. “Yamaguchi, Tsukishima, nice to see the two of you again.”

“Is Kageyama okay? Can we see him soon? We’ve missed him at practise, I miss having him send that toss that goes like ‘whoooosh’ and then I jump up and go ‘blam!’ And everyone else is all like ‘gwaaaaaaah’ when it hits the other side of the court -”

“Speak Japanese.” Tsukki sighed. Tadashi couldn’t help but chuckle, even in the weirdness of the situation.

“I’m afraid not yet Shouyou,” Mrs. Kageyama said. “Tobio still isn’t up for visitors yet. But I’ve told Sawamura and Sugawara that I’ll let them know as soon as you can see him, if that’s okay?”

Hinata’s face falls instantly. “He is okay though isn’t he? How come we still can’t see him?”

Kageyama’s mother bites her lip, as if she’s trying to think of how to explain the situation exactly.

“He’s probably still in the ICU,” Tsukki offered. They all looked at him in surprise. “Tch, the lining of his brain swelled up. It’s not like a scraped knee or something. He’ll probably be sleeping it off for days.”

A sigh. “I suppose there’s no point in denying it. I didn’t want you all to worry but, yes. He’s still in the ICU, and still not allowed visitors.”

“Has he woken up yet?” comes a small timid voice from behind Tsukki. Tadashi felt a sting of guilt for not thinking about how someone like Yachi would be handling this sooner.

Mrs. Kageyama looks to Yachi in recognition - she might have gone to Kageyama’s house to help tutor, possibly - but hesitates again before answering. “Sort of. The doctors said by the time he came in on Saturday he was not very responsive as it was -”

“He wasn’t by the time we got to the hospital,” Tadashi confirmed. “He talked a little in the car and showed a bit of awareness, but it took a while to wake him up to begin with.”

“They said that he was semiconscious when they did the lumbar puncture. He didn’t react well to it, by all accounts.” his mother continued offhand before stopping herself. “You probably didn’t need that detail. But since Saturday yes, they’ve had him put under so his brain could rest.”

Like when Mr. Takeda had told them he had meningitis, some people paled at the thought of a lumbar puncture. The rest just looked confused. Tanaka was the one to quietly voice the question, “What’s a lumbar puncture?”

A “Mrs. Kageyama!” was called out before a response could be made. The four third years were now joining them, Daichi slightly ahead with a small wave.

“Ah, Sawamura I take it? We’ve only spoken on the phone so - “ Daichi nods, introducing the rest of the third years, and then the second years.

“We were only here getting the vaccinations,” Suga explained. “Speaking of which, second years, you’re up. Go, the sooner you go the sooner you can get back.”

The second years left a little reluctantly, with Ennoshita having to physically drag the unusually quiet Tanaka and Nishinoya behind him. Daichi and Suga took over the conversation with Kageyama’s mother. Even though she had seemed stressed, she looked a little happier talking to Daichi and Suga, politely asking them about themselves in a manner her son would never be capable of. Once the second years came back, she then made her excuses to leave, most likely to get back to check on her son.

“I promise that I’ll let you know as soon as he’s cleared for visitors,” she said with a determined smile that was just a little scary. Okay, maybe now Tadashi could see the family resemblance. Judging from the expressions of everyone else, he wasn’t the only one. Once she left, the first years went to take their turn at their vaccinations.

It was a quiet walk there, and Hinata was a looking a little pale.

“You’re not afraid of needles are you?” Tsukki sighed.

Hinata looked up in alarm. “No! Of course not! Not at all! But I am wondering…”

Tadashi looked at Tsukki in surprise. Trust Tsukki to have picked up on that.

“She didn’t tell want to tell us what it was, but I know you guys probably know.” Hinata said reluctantly. “Like Tsukishima knew what meningitis was. So… can you guys tell me what a lumbar puncture is?”

Tadashi and Yachi share an alarmed look. It’s not something they think Hinata really needs to know - 

“It means,” Tsukki said without hesitation, “That while you’re here being whimpy about a relatively small needle for this vaccination, the King had a giant needle stuck into his spine - which from what his mom said he was still at least a little bit conscious for - to drain spinal fluid so that they could examine it and confirm he had meningitis.”

Hinata look simultaneously horrified and impressed, somehow.

“Tsukki…” Tadashi warned.

“So,” Tsukki continued, “Are you going to let the King beat you by handling that giant needle while you freak out over a tiny one?”

The way Hinata suddenly looked incredibly determined was unnerving. “I won’t let Kageyama beat me!” and with that, he took off running to the doctor’s office. Yachi and Tadashi stared after him in shock.

“I’m surprised you told him what it was,” Yachi said, “I was going to try and make something up to make it sound less scary.”

“The easiest way to distract either of those idiots is to turn it into a competition,” Tsukki sighed. “Come on. Let’s get this over with.”

*-*-*-*

Tadashi was still quite anxious for most of the week, but it was certainly less than it had been the previous weekend. This time, he was taking people up on their offers to talk. Mostly it was Tsukki, Suga or Ennoshita. His parents were also still being considerate around him, making his life easier where possible. Whether this was because they had picked this up themselves, or someone from the team had told them, he wasn’t sure. But it seemed like he had staved off another panic attack for the time being, of which he was glad. It certainly wasn’t an experience he had wanted to repeat.

He had eventually come clean to Tsukki about it. Tsukki of course had been absolutely furious about it, that Tadashi hadn’t told him. It abated somewhat when he said he’d let Suga know, so at least someone from the team had been aware, but Tadashi had been warned to never do something like that again.

A full week had passed before Daichi sent out a mass text early on Saturday morning letting them know that Kageyama’s mother had said he’d finally been given the all clear for visitors, since he was now out of the ICU. This was however given the added caveat that Kageyama was by all accounts still pretty groggy, so they would be organising small groups to go in at different points over the weekend so as not to overwhelm him. It would be discussed at that afternoon’s practise. Tadashi briefly wondered why that hadn’t just been sent into the group chat that the team already had, but then quickly realised it was probably not something that Daichi would want Kageyama to see whenever he was well enough to look at his phone again.

Afternoon practise was far less strained than it had been the previous week, now that they knew that soon they could see with their own eyes that Kageyama was okay. Tadashi felt like his jump float serves were better that day than they had been in a while, and people were a bit more lively again which made Tadashi realise just how subdued practise had been the past week. Once practise was over, they sat down in a group to listen to Daichi and Suga, who seemed to be organising the visiting schedule. It was a little on a voluntary basis on who would go when, with Hinata’s hand naturally one of the first in the air. It went without saying Hinata would be in the first group. Tadashi looked around, trying to think of who else would be one of the first to visit. Suga, probably with the captain. After that, it was anyone’s guess.

“I think groups of three would probably be best,” Suga was saying, “And we can spread out our visits to different visiting times over the weekend. So I think me, Daichi and Hinata will go in the first group.” Yeah, that went without saying. “The rest of the first years can go later today then.”

Tadashi looked up in surprise. “Us?”

Daichi nodded. “We’ve been talking to his mother about it, we think it’s probably the best way of doing it.”

They managed to iron out some of the other details. Coach Ukai would take the first group right after practise, Mr. Takeda would take the second group - himself, Tsukki and Yachi - later that day. Suga caught them after practise just before his group was due to head off. “His mother asked for you guys specifically.”

Tadashi was confused by that. “That doesn’t make sense. I’m sure there’s other people who should -”

Suga waved his hand dismissively. “No arguing. His mom asked for you guys, so you guys are going. Okay?”

Tadashi nodded in confusion. It didn’t make sense to him, but he couldn’t really argue with Kageyama’s mom. Not when she was already pretty stressed about everything that was going on.

The three of them decided to go to Sakanoshita to get some food in the meantime. It was actually a little nice, having Yachi hang out with them. She didn’t join them that often, but Tadashi had spent some time with her when they tutored Hinata and Kageyama. She was a lot less nervous now than she had been when she initially joined the team, which was nice to see. They kept themselves occupied, chatting about any meaningless thing that came into their heads until it was time to go meet Mr. Takeda. He greeted them all with a smile, and Yachi slid in the front seat while the two boys went into the back. 

It wasn’t until they got closer to the hospital that Tadashi started to get nervous. What did one talk about with someone who was sick? Was Kageyama conscious? Would he even be aware of what they were saying?

The car pulled in and they headed inside nervously. Mr. Takeda led them to the paediatric ward, where they met Kageyama’s mom outside one of the hospital rooms. She still looked as tired as she had last time, but slightly less stressed.

“He’s been a bit more awake today than he was yesterday, but he’s quite groggy and probably won’t respond much. The doctors say that’s pretty normal, given what’s happened. So just take it easy.”

Tadashi and Yachi couldn’t help it, they both looked at Tsukki in unison. He scoffed. “Don’t look at me like that, I won’t say anything.”

Mrs. Kageyama actually laughed at that, “Just don’t rile him up too much okay? We’ll be able to tell with the heart monitor.” She then turned and opened the door and led them inside.

It was a single room, rather than a ward. A small room, so Tadashi could see why they had wanted them split in so many groups. The bed was over by the window with a chair beside it, which from the look of things Kageyama’s mother was spending a lot of time in. She went right over to the bed to wake up her son, who had obviously dozed off again. She gently put her hand on his shoulder and said, “Tobio, you have some more visitors.” 

Kageyama’s eyes opened very slowly, like it was taking a huge amount of effort. The three of them slowly moved further into the room, with Mr. Takeda behind them holding up the rear. Kageyama still looked awful, Tadashi realised. He was really pale and tired looking, and there were tubes and wires everywhere. Tadashi knew enough about medicine to see the nasal canula coming out of his nose, obviously helping his breathing. There was also a weird bandage on his windpipe that Tadashi didn’t want to dwell too much on, and several bags of fluids connected to the IV taped to Kageyama’s left hand. Presumably containing antibiotics, from what he’d read.

“Look,” his mother said gently, as she carefully ruffled his hair, “This time Yachi is here - don’t worry, not for any tutoring! And Yamaguchi and Tsukishima are here too. Isn’’t that nice Tobio! And Mr. Takeda is here. They all wanted to visit you to make sure you were okay!”

Kageyama’s eyes moved slowly, taking them all in. He furrowed his concentration, and his mother immediately ruffled his hair again. “It’s okay sweetie, take your time.”

“H-hi guys,” Kageyama said eventually, his voice incredibly cracked from disuse. They all smiled in relief. Maybe some small part of them was concerned he wouldn’t remember them. Yachi was the first to move closer to the bed. She looked to Mrs. Kageyama first as if in permission, who nodded. Then she gently took Kageyama’s right hand in hers.

“Hi Kageyama.” She said softly. “It’s great to see you, we’ve all been missing you at practise. I’m sure Captain Sawamura and Sugawara were telling you all about how Hinata has been since you’ve been gone. They were here earlier, right?”

After a few moments to process what Yachi was saying, Kageyama nodded. 

“That’s good,” Yachi said quietly. “When you’re feeling better we should all do something fun! I know how much you love volleyball but maybe we could try something a bit different for a change. Though as for what that could be, I don’t really know.”

“If Tanaka and Nishinoya were here, they would definitely say a party,” Tadashi interrupted, thinking back to his conversation with Suga. Kageyama wrinkled his nose at this.

“Please don’t say things like that, I’m getting flashbacks.” Tsukki sighed. Tadashi snickered.

“I thought that surprise party was nice Tsukishima! It was right before the tournament too, so an excuse for everyone to have lots of fun!” Yachi smiled.

“You’re only saying that because you got to have a nice lowkey cake for your birthday,” Tsukki said bitterly. Tadashi laughed again, Tsukki fixed him with a glare. “Need I remind you that your birthday is coming up soon? Would you like to suffer the same fate as me?”

“I think I’d handle it more gracefully,” Tadashi argued. Kageyama was following their conversation with vague interest even if he wasn’t inputting much, which was more than they could have hoped for really. Though Tadashi couldn’t help but notice how much Kageyama would stare at him compared to Tsukki and Yachi.

They kept the conversation light for the entire time they were visiting, Yachi coming up with ideas for things to do while they would have debates on whether they were good plans or not. Kageyama input very little into the conversation but they didn’t mind much. It’s not like Kageyama was the world’s greatest conversationalist even when he was completely healthy.

Eventually Mr. Takeda let them know it was time to go. They did their own goodbyes one at a time, starting with Yachi and Tadashi going last. 

He wasn’t quite sure what to do, but settled for a light touch on the shoulder. “Get well soon, Kageyama. We’ll be back again, don’t worry!”

Kageyama bit his lip, obviously pursed in thought, but all he said was a quiet, “Thank you.”

The three of them waited outside the room for Mr. Takeda as he spoke with Kageyama’s mother, most likely.

“I think you should go visit him on your own sometime when he’s a bit better, Yamaguchi.” Yachi said quietly. Tadashi did a quick double take.

“Me?” he yelped in surprise.

“I think he wants to say something to you… it seemed like it to me at least, but I’m not the best at reading Kageyama.” 

“No, you’re right, he definitely does want to say something.” Tsukki said immediately. “He was definitely concentrating more when Yamaguchi was saying something.”

So it hadn’t just been his imagination. “But why me?”

“Think about it from his perspective,” Tsukki replied. “From what he would remember from last week. He probably remembers going to sleep on Friday night, and then very little of what actually happened between that and being in the hospital. But you’re the one who woke him up, and we went to the hospital with him. He probably just remembers…” he trailed off, uncertain or unwilling to finish that thought.

“He remembers you being there for him,” Yachi finished instead. “That’s probably why his mom insisted you be here.”

Tadashi couldn’t think of a response to that, but Mr. Takeda saved him having to come up with one as he left the hospital room next.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had hoped to somehow get closer to finishing this, but I was home from Japan for about two weeks when my boss had me set up to work from home which has been super weird. So I've been working from home during the day, and then binging other anime in my spare time. A+ adulting. I successfully got my housemate into Haikyuu at the equivalent exchange of me watching Jojo, though I still have a while to go before I finish it. Rewatching Haikyuu with her made me really appreciate Yamaguchi all the more. I'm also doing typical quarantine activities like baking, my travel journal and I picked guitar up again. Hope everyone reading this is getting on okay in their quarantines! Sorry for how sporadic these updates have been.
> 
> On a practical note, from browsing Kags' tag here, I know stuff was revealed about his family in the manga that we've not seen in the anime but since I'm anime only I'm sticking with what was my original headcanon.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tadashi and Kageyama finally talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Canon: looms over me threateningly  
> Me: Look it hasn’t been in the anime yet so I don’t officially know anything aside from tags on this site  
> Canon: *sighs*

The little rota was kept going over the next few days. The groups changed a little bit, depending on when people were available. Hinata tried to get himself included in as many visits as he possibly could, and no one was going to press him on that point.

When both he and Hinata ended up going in the same group (with Suga, this time) Tadashi was really surprised at how Hinata managed to maintain his usual enthusiasm, but at a level Kageyama could keep up with. Light teasing about how _Hinata’s_ brain would never do something so dumb like swell up too much, to which Kageyama managed to string together enough words to point out that of course his brain couldn’t do that if he didn’t have one to begin with. Suga, Tadashi and even Kageyama’s mother had all burst out laughing at Hinata’s indignant squawk in response. Kageyama’s mother then lightly scolded him, but they could tell that it was only mostly for appearances at any rate.

One week blended into the next, and then several hospital visits later, Kageyama was officially allowed to go home. He’d been in the hospital for two weeks by the time he was discharged. So the next step then was to logically help ease the burden of Kageyama’s homecoming as best they could on his family. Or, as Tadashi discovered, his mother, since that was all the family he had apparently since his father was constantly abroad for work. Another thing he felt a little guilty about once he discovered. Until Tsukki pointed out that literally no one on the team knew Akiteru existed until he showed up at their game against Shiratorizawa, and would Tadashi stop beating himself up over unnecessary things, because apparently it was annoying.

So they kept up the visits, and some of their parents would insist on sending things like food over when they visited to help lighten the load so to speak. Mrs. Hinata had sent at least three curries to the Kageyama household in the time he had been home.

Even after the talk with Yachi and Tsukki, Tadashi still hadn’t built up the courage to see Kageyama on his own. He continued going in the various groups, hiding in the background while the others did most of the talking. But he could still feel Kageyama’s eye on him, no matter how quiet he was.

He wasn’t sure exactly why he was avoiding it. Maybe because he just didn’t know Kageyama that well, as this entire incident had shown. It made him a bit uneasy. Was Kageyama a relatively predictable person? Well, yes. Did Tadashi still have no idea what to say to Kageyama if they were ever alone together? Also yes.

In hindsight, he should have expected someone else to run interference, but he had expected it to be someone like Suga or Ennoshita, which is why he ended up being so blindsided. 

Kageyama’s house was nice, but relatively bare. It sort of made sense, Kageyama definitely didn’t seem like the sentimental type so of course he didn’t have that many material possessions. Aside from anything that was volleyball related, naturally. Being in his room the first time while he was recovering had still felt strange though, like he was intruding on something. Hinata was the only one who had been in Kageyama’s room before The Incident, as apparently he sometimes stayed after training or long matches so he wouldn’t have to bike over a mountain. Even Hinata had limits, it seemed.

Today they weren’t actually in Kageyama’s room. Kageyama was propped up on the couch in the small living room, but still in his pyjamas and wrapped up in a fuzzy looking blanket. They were still sticking to going in smaller groups rather than the whole team at once, but the groups weren’t as small as when they were in the hospital. Which meant that there were six of them there today in total, probably the most there had been total. Tadashi was the only first year, he had tagged along with the second and third years instead for a change (and definitely not because Tsukki and Yachi kept looking at him expectantly). All of the third years had come, presumably to keep Tanaka and Nishinoya at bay. As soon as they arrived and saw Kageyama propped up on the couch, they joined him almost immediately, one either side of him, chatting excitably while Kageyama sat perplexed between the two of them. It was pretty reminiscent of how things used to be, and Tadashi could tell the third years were thinking the same thing as they chuckled over Kageyama trying to keep up with Nishinoya describing a scene from one of his favourite action movies in great detail. Tadashi didn't know that his senpai had such a way with words

Kageyama’s mother popped her head around the door leading into the kitchen. “Yamaguchi, would you mind coming in here and helping me with something?”

Tadashi was never one to shy away from offering his help to someone, so he nodded and headed into the kitchen, not for a moment questioning why he was the only one being singled out when half the team had arrived today. He was the only one not engrossed in a conversation after all.

When Mrs Kageyama closed the door behind him with an odd look on her face, that’s when he began to get concerned.

“Sit down, Yamaguchi, please.”

Tadashi sat down robotically at the table as Kageyama’s mother sat down and joined him. What was happening here? Was she angry with him? Her brows were furrowed and her face looked deep in thought before she eventually spoke. She looked unnervingly like her son when she did that.

“Tobio is not the best with his words. It’s always been a struggle of his, unfortunately. It was one of the biggest hurdles he had to overcome in order to make friends, since he either will angrily blurt things out without thinking or he’ll retreat into himself and over think things far too much.”

Tadashi failed to see how he was relevant to this, but didn’t mention anything just yet. After all she wasn’t saying anything that could be disputed.

“He’s been struggling lately with this even more so, given the nature of his illness. He’s much better now of course, and has come on so much and the doctors are thrilled with the progress he’s been making, but that doesn’t undo his issues from before.”

“Mrs. Kageyama,” Tadashi began, “I don’t mean to be rude but, what does this have to do with me?”

Kageyama’s mother pursed her lips. “When everyone else leaves, I’d hope that you might stay behind and talk to Tobio. He’s been wanting to talk to you for a while actually, but he’s not great at articulating these things. So I thought I’d just give you a heads up about it.”

She said it in a very nice, polite manner, but Tadashi could hear the unspoken fact that this was an order, not a request. And he couldn’t really blame her. He had put this off long enough.

So about an hour later when his senpai started to pack up their things, Tadashi turned to Suga and said “I think I might stay just a little while longer, actually.” Naturally, Suga didn’t look surprised at this. Maybe this was something everyone had discussed beforehand, who knew, but the second and third years left with very little protest while Kageyama’s mom showed them out and then disappeared into the kitchen just as quickly.

Tadashi sat on the couch beside Kageyama and tried not to sigh. This was… probably going to be awkward. Why did he think this was going to be a good idea? Where did he even start?

“I… never really... get sick.”

Oh, or Kageyama was planning on doing the talking. Tadashi hadn’t expected that. Then again, Tsukki and Yachi had told him as much.

“I remember... having like, chicken pox as a kid. But other - other than that, I’ve not. I haven’t-” He pauses and closes his eyes, clearly frustrated at how ineloquent he feels. Or at least more ineloquent than usual.

Tadashi laughs lightly to break the tension. “I was always the opposite. Anytime someone came into class with a cold, I knew it was a matter of time before I got sick”

Kageyama nods. “That - never happens to me. Though some - sometimes I do get things like muscle fatigue. From overtraining. Mom says I usually d-don’t know when to quit.”

Fidgeting a little, Tadashi hums. “Yeah, you and Hinata like to stay pretty late most nights.” Then he makes the connection of what Kageyama is trying to tell him, where this might be going. “That night… we’d been practising all week and you guys stayed late like everyday. And then we went straight from school to the training camp.”

Kageyama nods, seeing that Tadashi has put together what he hadn’t put into words as much. “I - I didn’t. I don’t get sick m-much and because we’d… been… working on the toss-”

Tadashi waved his hands frantically. “Nobody thinks you did it on purpose Kageyama! I’m sorry if we made you feel bad about us being worried for you. It’s a natural thing for friends to be worried for each other.”

Kageyama frowns at that. “I’m n-not. Not good at that either.”

Ah yes, the middle school incident. Tadashi never really thought about it from Kageyama’s perspective that much before, only something Tsukki would say to him to piss him off. Maybe he’d get Tsukki to lay off that if it was bothering Kageyama so - 

Woah, when did he really start thinking things like this over.

“I wasn’t either.” Tadashi says, deciding to be honest. He’s not sure where it comes from. That’s been happening a lot these days. “I used to get bullied a lot in elementary school. Until I became friends with Tsukki. You’ll learn, don't worry about it.”

“Are we f-friends?”

His answer is less hesitant than it would have been a few weeks ago - Tadashi nods almost immediately. “I think so.”

“Then can - n-no, never mind.”

Kageyama turns from him, looking frustrated. 

“Kageyama, what is it?” Tadashi asks softly.

The setter fiddles with his hands rather than responding immediately. A long moment passes. Then, “I got picked for t-the national youth t-team. For a c-camp.”

A stunned silence follows. In any other situation Tadashi knows how they would have reacted to this news. They would have been slightly envious sure, but there was no doubt that no one was more deserving of the role than Kageyama. One of the reasons he irritated people so much was that even beyond his tossing skills, he was ridiculously talented at other aspects of the game. He was one of their best servers after all, much as it pained Tadashi to admit.

But he knows why Kageyama is saying it like it’s something to be ashamed of. So instead of congratulating him, Tadashi’s response is a quiet, “When is the camp?” 

Kageyama’s response is hardly a whisper, “December. It’s… it won’t be enough time. That’s what my mom and Takeda think. Th-they haven’t said it to me yet but, I h-heard them talking. They don’t - don’t - d-” he cuts off with a huff of frustration.

“I see.” Tadashi says. Why. Why did Kageyama want to talk to him about this? Why not Suga? Daichi? Hinata? Even Tsukki might have - okay, well maybe not Tsukki.

“The doctors … had said I would be lucky to be… okay by N-Nationals.” Kageyama continued. “It’s not a guarantee, but but it was a goal to w-work towards. But they think that - I won’t - I can’t.” 

Kageyama flopped back on the couch, seemingly spent of energy. He collapsed forward with his head in his hands, and then started shuddering slightly. It took Tadashi a few minutes to realise that he was crying.

This is out of his area of expertise, but Tadashi can’t sit here and not comfort someone. It’s not who he is. He moves closer to Kageyama and very, very carefully, puts an arm around him. Kageyama freezes as he does so, and Tadashi knows what he’s thinking of. He’s thinking of that night, though Tadashi is not sure how much of it Kageyama actually remembers.

After a few minutes, Kageyama melts into his hold, and the crying lessens just a little bit. Tadashi lets him mourn an opportunity he could potentially miss, because he can’t blame him. Volleyball is everything to Kageyama.

“You know,” Tadashi says softly, “the thing about you, Kageyama, is that you’re a force to be reckoned with. Meningitis usually has a ton of complications you know? Especially if you don’t catch it in time. Deafness, epilepsy, loss of motor control… I looked up a lot of that stuff up when we were waiting to see how you were going to be. Back when we weren’t sure if we got you to the hospital in time. If… If I had got to you in time.”

“I really thought… I was going to die.”

The admission is both surprising and it isn’t. He remembers Kageyama frantically asking him if he was going to die that night, but he didn't think he could remember that. Tadashi hadn’t been able to answer it at the time because they didn’t know.

“It’s… I don’t remember everything. I remember thinking…. It was bad. I was cold, and my head…. Everything hurt to look at. And I remember you. And Ennoshita. But, your v-voices. It was like, listening to a radio that wasn't t-tuned in properly or, or something. I couldn’t tell where y-you were and I thought I was dying and I just - everything, it was all just, and now I can’t and -”

He cuts himself off with a cry of frustration, and Tadashi feels for him. He waits a few moments and Kageyama calms himself again.

“They told me how bad it was. How lucky I was. I shouldn’t be so upset about the camp. I should be grateful... to be alive. I'm lucky.”

“Kageyama,” Tadashi says because the other boy needs to know this, “You’re allowed be disappointed if you can’t go to the training camp. You’ve worked so hard. You deserved a spot there.”

And Kageyama broke. He mourned something he had worked for, and wouldn’t get to see the results of. He cried over the trauma of the entire experience. Of not knowing if he was going to survive, to not knowing the side effects, to losing a spot at something he'd worked so hard for.

Tadashi sat with him, gently stroking his back and offering general words of comfort. He didn’t understand why he was the person Kageyama felt comfortable doing this with, but he wasn’t going to question it too much.

Once he’d recollected himself, Kageyama gave a choked sob that could have been a laugh. “Sorry. This wasn’t even what I wanted to talk to you about.”

Tadashi freezes a bit in response. Here it comes, what he’d been dreading… Kageyama couldn’t go to the camp and it’s all because he didn’t wake up sooner, ask if he was okay earlier when Kageyama had seemed off...

“I wanted to…. To thank you.”

And like that, his brain stutters to a halt. “Thank me?”

Kageyama nods. “I t-talked with Ennoshita. About what happened. I don’t r-remember much but. I remember you being there. You could have just gone back to sleep. You didn’t have t-to - didn’t need to check on me -”

“Kageyama,” Tadashi says in surprise, “of course I was going to make sure you were okay. I just wished I’d checked you were okay before going to bed. If I’d not woken up or just gotten up a bit later….”

The other boy shakes his head. “There’s no point t-thinking about that. You woke up, and you h-helped me. A-and I, I just wanted to thank you. That’s all there is to it.”

“Okay,” Tadashi agrees. Kageyama is right. There’s no point in dwelling on what happened back then. It’s time to focus on now, and the future.

“Y’know Kageyama,” Tadashi begins, “You are one of the most tenacious people I know. I’m not saying its a guarantee or that it won’t be hard, but I really think you could make that training camp. And there’s absolutely no way you won’t be better in time for Nationals.”

A long silence followed. For a while, Tadashi wasn’t sure if Kageyama had fallen asleep (intense crying sessions are a lot more exhausting than they had any right to be, in Tadashi’s experience) but then the setter broke the silence in a very quiet voice. “Do you really think that I might be able to do that training camp?”

“Absolutely,” Tadashi replied without hesitation.

(Kageyama’s mother came into the living room about twenty minutes later. Both boys were completely dead to the world, Kageyama’s head on Tadashi’s shoulder. She wrapped a blanket around the two, and went back to preparing some ramen for when the boys woke up).

*-*-*-*

It wasn’t easy.

Then again, none of them had expected it to be.

The weeks passed and Kageyama gained more of his strength back. His speech improved, though sometimes he still had to think for awhile before answering someone or saying something. His coordination was slower than usual as well, but Tsukki commented that Kageyama’s coordination being slower meant he was probably something closer to human now than he was before the meningitis.

When Kageyama returned to school after several weeks off, the other first years helped as best they could. Unfortunately none of them were in his class so they couldn’t help on that end, but they started to have lunches together, all five of them. Tsukki had half-heartedly protested at the idea, but even Hinata could figure out that Tsukki was just doing things for show at this point. Kageyama returned to volleyball, only doing light exercise at first before working his way up to full on training.

The month of November passed with small milestones. Kageyama returning to school. To practise. The first time he called Hinata dumbass again. When he accidentally called Tsukki by the nickname only Tadashi got away with, and the expression of regret immediately after. The first time he had a conversation without any pauses.

It was hard, but at the end of November, Kageyama came into practise late one afternoon. He’d mentioned at lunch he was taking a half day in the afternoon and would be back to practise late, but hadn’t specified what for.

And more shocking than that was the fact that Kageyama Tobio was actually _smiling_. He marched right up to Coach Ukai and Mr. Takeda with no preamble before handing Mr. Takeda an envelope with a deep bow. Mr. Takeda opened the envelope and looked over the contents, Coach Ukai doing the same over his shoulder. They both smiled the more they read of it.

Ukai laughed heartily, “We can’t really argue with doctor’s orders, can we? Takeda, can you…?” 

The teacher nodded enthusiastically, “I’ll make the call. Well done Kageyama! I know you’ve been working hard to make this happen.” He clapped Kageyama on the back before rushing off to the office, presumably.

Tadashi and Hinata went rushing over to Kageyama as soon as he left, Tsukki slightly behind them but acting like he wasn’t overly interested. Hinata was the one to ask what they were all thinking, “Does that mean….?”

Kageyama grinned even more. It was odd to see such an expressive look on his face. “I’ve been cleared by my doctor. I can do the training camp!”

The second and third years had come over to investigate and as soon as the words had left Kageyama’s mouth he was tackled by Nishinoya and Tanaka, who got yelled at by Suga and Daichi for not being gentle with Kageyama, as come on, he’s only just been cleared by the doctor. To which the second years argued that if a doctor said Kageyama could play volleyball with other volleyball nerds, then of course that meant they could tackle him if they wanted to.

Tadashi laughed as the arguing continued to go in circles. Logic was something that really wasn’t going to work on Tanaka and Nishinoya.

*-*-*-*

The week Kageyama was off to the training camp, Tsukki was at the first year training camp, and apparently Hinata gatecrashed it too. That left Tadashi the sole first year left behind. He’d unfortunately gotten used to that by now, but it didn’t stop him from working any harder. He spent most of the week on his serves - if he was only going to be on the court for a few moments, he was going to make every second count.

The first years now had a small group chat going, so Tadashi and Yachi were getting all the news from both camps. Tadashi wasn’t sure how the Miyagi first year camp seemed to be the more eventful of the two but when someone turns up to it uninvited and is forced to be a ball boy for a week, it does sort of make a better story. Also Hinata had a habit of sending long, overly detailed texts while Kageyama’s texts about the Youth Camp were a lot more spartan. When they returned the following week, again, Hinata launched into a long stories with each and every detail about his week at the camp, while Kageyama only really answered questions when asked.

After the camps, December seemed to fly by. The winter break was just around the corner, and their last training session before the break was going to be on the - 

Oh.

_Oh._

*-*-*-*

Tadashi had enlisted Sugawara to help him in the beginning, and when he’d informed the third year of his idea he’d only been too eager to help. They slowly got the rest of the team involved in their plan, and by the day in question, everything was in place.

During morning practise, no one acknowledged anything, and they just had a regular training session. The trend continued throughout the day, where they had a typical lunch the five of them without mentioning anything unique about the date, up until the evening practise which was slightly… different than usual. They all got changed in the club room together, and walked into the gym shoulder to shoulder, some of them barely containing their excitement.

When they entered the gym, Tadashi could sense the exact moment that Kageyama noticed something was off. He wasn’t sure if it was the Christmas decorations, or the small table of food and presents.

Everyone turned to the youngest member of the team and grinned, while Kageyama just looked around in confusion. “Are… are we not practising?”

Daichi laughed at that, “We thought given the last few months, we might end things on a slightly different note before the holidays.”

Kageyama looked slightly panicked at that, looking at all the presents. “But I didn’t even think to -”

The usual suspects rush over to him, and Tanaka slaps him heartily on the back, “Don’t worry about it, this is really all about you anyway, birthday boy!”

For a moment, the look on Kageyama’s face is so stunned that Tadashi internally panics - had they gotten his birthday wrong??

“This.. This is for me?” It’s been a while since Kageyama stumbled over his words, and they know it isn’t a lasting side effect of his illness this time.

“It is.” Suga nods enthusiastically. “We can’t take all the credit though, it was Yamaguchi’s idea.”

Tadashi blushes as the other first year looks at him in shock. He hadn’t expected Suga to put him on the spot like that!

Fortunately the moment is broken of course, by Hinata who grabs at Kageyama, tells him to stop being dumb and can they start eating the food already?

And like that, chaos descends - but a good kind of chaos. Karasuno is after all, infamous at this point for how chaotic and messy they can be. So it makes sense this also translates to birthday celebrations.

They eat food, there’s a cake, they open presents - some birthday presents for Kageyama but there’s also a few Christmas presents swapped as well, along with some presents for Ennoshita’s upcoming birthday. They never do get around to practising, though Tadashi can tell that Hinata and Kageyama are probably thinking of how they can squeeze a few tosses in after this.

A few hours later Tadashi slips away for a moment, as Tanaka and Nishinoya loudly argue over whose present Kiyoko liked more and some of the third years try to mediate. He sits just outside the door of the gym, and after a few minutes, someone comes out and joins him.

“Thank you,” Kageyama says quietly. “For… everything.”

He needn’t say more. Tadashi knows what he’s being thanked for. 

So instead of asking what Kageyama means, he just smiles and responds, “Anything for a friend.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy birthday again Kageyama! So since I started this fic this time last year, not only are we still stuck in the middle of a global pandemic but the manga has finished and we've had a whole season of Haikyuu. Wow, I suck and hopefully this chapter might offer some closure to you guys at last! I'm closing off this fic anyways and I might revisit it sometime in a one shot or two, but I'm working on another project for another fandom at the moment so no promises. Happy Christmas y'all!

**Author's Note:**

> I've only done this whole "let's make my fave character suffer on their birthday" thing once, back in 2011 for a different fandom back when I frequented FFN.net rather than here (sentences like that make me feel old). But I had been planning to do it for two of my new fave characters in recent years. Kags' birthday happened to be first, though I had the other one planned for longer. That one will probably drop in January. Looks like I'm back writing fanfics again I guess if people enjoy them haha. 
> 
> This is my first foray into writing for an anime fandom so I had to think about the names/honorifics. I decided to ultimately omit the honorifics, and use the names that Yamaguchi would use to address people. Also this was originally just gonna be mostly a focus on Kageyama and Yamaguchi since I'd like to see them interact more but dammit Tsukishima really wanted to be part of this. 
> 
> There will most likely be a second chapter to wrap things up- I would have done it as one long chapter but Kageyama's birthday is too close to Christmas and surprisingly your family want to spend time with you when you come home for Christmas so I didn't get it all done in time . ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯


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